I hope you've had a wonderful holiday season. Ours has been super busy, and I've just learned how to download pictures off of my camera onto our new computer, so I will be posting pics from these last couple of weeks soon.
The start of a new year always brings about the feeling of hope, anticipation, a new beginning. People all over the world join together to mourn the passing of time, and rejoice in the fresh start that comes with a new year. We make resolutions to read more, learn a new language, lose weight, call more, with all of the confidence we had last year when we might have made similar resolutions. The ringing in of a new year allows for a time of introspection in how we did last year, and how we hope to do now. Some of us have had a better year than others, some of us look at 2008 and shudder, counting down the seconds until the clock rings Midnight.
Tonight I want to share a few thoughts about my friend, 2008. It hasn't been completely bad. I am so thankful for our beautiful new house, our wonderful new church, our loving new friends that we have such a blast with. I'm thankful for our opportunity to go to Disney World, North Carolina to visit my parents, South Padre and numerous trips to San Antonio, Austin and Memphis to see our family and friends. I'm especially thankful for the wonders that I've seen God working in my life this year, the countless blessings I've received and the strength that our marriage has experienced.
With as much happiness as I feel at the beginning of a new year, I am also scared to see my friend go. 2008 was hard for so many reasons, wrought with disappointment, heartache, frustration. But I also experienced more personal growth this year than any other. God has blessed me my whole life, but I feel that this year, above any other, He has met me, held me and guided me in the direction He has planned for right now. To be honest, I'm scared of what this year might hold for me, not knowing if I will be taken any lower, or if this year might be the year that I would actually receive my heart's desire. As I was driving to Brian's mom's tonight, I was listening to the song that inspired the title of this blog. A renewed hope was instilled in me, and I immediately started crying. I'm not sure what this year will hold. 2008 was sure full of surprises and hurts. And I know 2009 could quite possibly contain similar experiences.
God laid in my heart tonight a peace that He is working mightily in me at this moment. He did not promise me my heart's desire, but He did promise me that He will continue to cradle my heart and hold me through the hard times, just as He has the whole time. As Mindy put it Saturday night, when she, Rebecca and I were talking about how Granbury called and offered me a job not even 2 weeks after losing my job in Grand Prairie, "God has some serious plans for you Tindell". And while I've always known that's true, it has never seemed as real to me as it does now.
So, it's 2009. Really, nothing has changed. It will take me until March to remember to write 09 instead of 08 on everything. It will be 12 more months of waiting and counting and planning fertility cycles. But I have resolved this year above all, that I will have no other false gods (including my inability to conceive), above my one true God. I refuse to let myself stay sad, angry or frustrated, but will make a conscious effort to set my eyes on my Heavenly Father who will turn my mourning into dancing, I will not give Satan a foothold to steal my joy.
And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong; firm, and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen.
I Peter 5:10-11
Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.
Nehemiah 8:10
1 comment:
"God has some serious plans for you, Tindell." I couldn't have said it any better myself! Amy, I can't emphasize this enough--your optimism and the way you have refused to let adversity take you out of the game is what sets you apart. You have been such an immense source of encouragement for me in so many ways, and I believe God has given you your particular set of struggles for a particular purpose. Don't ever stop looking for ways to use the growth God has blessed you with to bless others whose faith may not be as strong as your own. You are an amazing woman and a rock!
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