First Kiss Day!

Today is a very special day for two reasons:

#1: Today is my sweet friend Rebecca's birthday! Bec is a super sweet, strong, loving, thoughtful woman who is one of the greatest friends I've ever had. I love you Bec and I hope you have a wonderful day!!
Here's some old school pics of me and Rebecca from college days (I pulled them off my scrapbook, sorry if it's ghetto)....





#2: Today is also a special day, because it is our 9th anniversary of when we started "couplehood". We were friends and "friend-dated" for several months before we made it official. So we always counted our anniversary from the day of our first kiss.
On January 27, 2000, Brian and I were students at Oklahoma Christian University. It had snowed several feet and for the first time ever in school history, they canceled classes. Not because the students couldn't get to class (everyone lived on campus), but because the professors couldn't get there! So Brian and I spent the entire day hanging out with our friends, playing in the snow, and spending some "alone time". Our first kiss was at the duck pond on campus where we usually took lunches and had picnics. It was a really great day, and I am so happy to have spent the last 9 years kissing my man, and can't wait to spend my lifetime kissing him too!
So, now I'm gonna kick it old school and bring out some righteous pics of yours truly and the love of her life!!

Gamma Spring Banquet 2000
First Kiss Day 2000
The first time we won the costume contest...
Homecoming 2000
Gamma Fall Banquet 2000
Spring Sing 2001
Spring Sing 2002
Spring Break trip to San Antonio, 2002
Kansas concert 2002
Gamma Spring Banquet 2003
Winter 2000
Winter 2000
Christmas 1999, Arbuckle Mountains

My painting

I've been wanting to paint something for our bathroom for a long time. And for those who know me, craftiness skipped me. Not so talented in the art department. But, I decided to copy Mindy and add a few extra touches. So, I did some painting/decopaging and here's the finished product! Not sure if it will stay on this wall, it feels a little small, but we shall see.

Adoption Update

This has been one of the longest, most amazing weeks I've had in quite a while. Everyday we've talked with our adoption attorney, the birth mother's counselor, and some of our closest family and friends, seeking guidance and prayer for what we should do. After praying and talking last night, we have decided to back away from the adoption. We have not been able to get much information at all about the birth parents and the medical history of this child. There is also another family that is very interested in this child and we feel very strongly that while we don't know everything about their situation, we still feel very strongly that we still have hope of getting pregnant on our own, this may be their only option. We did discuss with the counselor that if this family decides that this baby is not their baby, to contact us. We do not want this baby to go into the system, though the likelihood of her getting adopted is high. We do feel that if we get a call to come to the hospital, we will go, knowing full well it might as well be God calling for us to come get our firstborn.
It has been a difficult week of quickly trying to seek out God's will for this situation, and while we are still waiting on the final outcome, and haven't totally ruled out the adoption of this child, we feel that God has been leading us to this decision and feel at peace at letting this other family have the first choice for this baby.
Thank you for all of your prayers, I'm starting my treatments again this week, so hopefully there will be a baby Tindell on the horizon soon!

Surreal

I wasn't planning on talking publicly about this just yet, but now I feel like I can take advantage of the situation to let my super faithful prayer warriors start their engines. We have been given the immense blessing of an opportunity to explore a private adoption of a baby due at the end of this month.
You know, just when you are giving speeches about how you are going to lay back, "Let go, and Let God", you get a mouthful of "Hey, I didn't see that coming!".
While we are incredibly excited about the potential blessing this will bring for us, our family and our friends, we are not entering into this process lightly. We always knew adoption was on the horizon for us, we just never anticipated it happening now. Trust me when I say that we are taking this process step by step, trying to listen for the voice of God with every inch.
It will be a long process that will cover a short amount of time, so I will probably not go into it much on here, at least right now. For this time, we are asking you all to approach the throne-room for us and ask solely for the will of God to be made known in this situation. And that you will rejoice with us when we bring our child home, whether that is in less than a month, or when God decides it is time.
I can't thank each and every one of you enough for your constant love and support you've shown Brian and me through this entire process, you are truly God's gift.

A December In Pictures

Here's our December in pictures...

I don't have as many pictures from North Carolina as I wanted to get. But one of the days that we were there, Mom and Dad took us to the Biltmore house, in Asheville, NC. It was amazing, not just because of the sheer enormity of the house, but also because of the beautiful Christmas decorations it was decked out with!!

This is us after the Biltmore, eating our fancy Biltmore desserts, at the nicest McDonalds I've ever seen!




December was also fun because I became a grandmother!! Ha! Here's some pictures of our bunnies, they're even cuter now!!

Lewis really loves the bunnies, gives them kisses constantly!



We went to San Antonio for Christmas for the week. We got to visit with all of our family and get to see my parents again!!
The now-annual Gingerbread house construction.

The six of us took some time and went down to the Riverwalk to do some shopping and eating. We ate at Casa Rio, a really old Mexican food restaurant on the river and enjoyed the Christmas lights.

Let me take a moment to explain what is wrong with Brian's face. Every year at Christmas, to get a laugh from my family, tick me off, not sure why...but Brian shaves his massive and impressive facial hair into some ridonkulous style. Last year was the handlebars. This year, I don't know what happened, he did kind of handlebar mustache, with hooks for sideburns. It was...Harry Holiday

Christmas Eve: You can see only a small part of the madness. Over 40 of us pack into my Nanny's living room and open up presents, have a wrapping paper fight and start cooking the meal for the big day. It was harder for me than I ever expected. This is the third Christmas I've been trying for a child, but the first Christmas out of those 3 that I have doubts to whether or not I will have one by next Christmas. To say one thing about my family, I am so blessed. Not everyone acknowledged how I was feeling outright, but the hugs, the talks, how considerate everyone was for me, I will be eternally grateful for the family God blessed me with.

Christmas Day


I love Aunt Jo!
Harry Holiday and Brianna
James and me

The day after Christmas, most of us met up again for more Mexican food!! Yum! After a couple of other options that could not seat 35 in less than 2 hours, we fell into La Fogata. It was so much fun, we always draw some attention when we all go out somewhere together. But it is one of the things I am most proud of to do. I think it is amazing that there are so many of us and we are all close and make family a priority. I know it means a lot to my grandparents when we are all together, it happens so rarely!!
O.M.G. Brian
My Nanny and Popo are so cute!
My cousins Cyndi and Melissa!!
One pic of the table, you can't really see everyone, some didn't even make it into the picture and about 10 were missing from dinner that night. That gives you an idea of how many of us are there, and how much attention we can draw...

Saturday after Christmas we left and headed home, to take a quick nap and some showers, then pack into the car and head to Joe T Garcias for more Mexican food (yum) and fun night with our best friends. Grant it, we didn't take our coats off all night, because we ate on the patio at Joe Ts, sat outside at Flying Saucer and were outside walking around downtown Ft. Worth. But hey, that's what's great about Texas, right? It may be cold, but not too cold to still have some patio time, right?!



Last week passed in a blur, such a blur, I didn't even have time to whip out my camera!! Brian's brother, Alex came into town, we went to a New Year's party with some friends in Granbury, then went to Brian's mom, (Kaye's) house to shoot fireworks. We spent New Years Day together eating and watching TV. Kaye and I went to Canton, Friday, where I proceeded to get sick with a 24 hour stomach flu. But by Saturday night, I was all better for Mindy and Brandon to come over and have one of our infamous porch nights.

So, if anyone made it all the way to here, thanks! Hope that you enjoyed our December in Pictures!!

Goodbye my friend,

Happy New Year Everyone!! 

I hope you've had a wonderful holiday season. Ours has been super busy, and I've just learned how to download pictures off of my camera onto our new computer, so I will be posting pics from these last couple of weeks soon. 

The start of a new year always brings about the feeling of hope, anticipation, a new beginning. People all over the world join together to mourn the passing of time, and rejoice in the fresh start that comes with a new year. We make resolutions to read more, learn a new language, lose weight, call more, with all of the confidence we had last year when we might have made similar resolutions. The ringing in of a new year allows for a time of introspection in how we did last year, and how we hope to do now. Some of us have had a better year than others, some of us look at 2008 and shudder, counting down the seconds until the clock rings Midnight. 

Tonight I want to share a few thoughts about my friend, 2008. It hasn't been completely bad. I am so thankful for our beautiful new house, our wonderful new church, our loving new friends that we have such a blast with. I'm thankful for our opportunity to go to Disney World, North Carolina to visit my parents, South Padre and numerous trips to San Antonio, Austin and Memphis to see our family and friends. I'm especially thankful for the wonders that I've seen God working in my life this year, the countless blessings I've received and the strength that our marriage has experienced. 

With as much happiness as I feel at the beginning of a new year, I am also scared to see my friend go. 2008 was hard for so many reasons, wrought with disappointment, heartache, frustration. But I also experienced more personal growth this year than any other. God has blessed me my whole life, but I feel that this year, above any other, He has met me, held me and guided me in the direction He has planned for right now. To be honest, I'm scared of what this year might hold for me, not knowing if I will be taken any lower, or if this year might be the year that I would actually receive my heart's desire. As I was driving to Brian's mom's tonight, I was listening to the song that inspired the title of this blog. A renewed hope was instilled in me, and I immediately started crying. I'm not sure what this year will hold. 2008 was sure full of surprises and hurts. And I know 2009 could quite possibly contain similar experiences. 

God laid in my heart tonight a peace that He is working mightily in me at this moment. He did not promise me my heart's desire, but He did promise me that He will continue to cradle my heart and hold me through the hard times, just as He has the whole time. As Mindy put it Saturday night, when she, Rebecca and I were talking about how Granbury called and offered me a job not even 2 weeks after losing my job in Grand Prairie, "God has some serious plans for you Tindell". And while I've always known that's true, it has never seemed as real to me as it does now. 

So, it's 2009. Really, nothing has changed. It will take me until March to remember to write 09 instead of 08 on everything. It will be 12 more months of waiting and counting and planning fertility cycles. But I have resolved this year above all, that I will have no other false gods (including my inability to conceive), above my one true God. I refuse to let myself stay sad, angry or frustrated, but will make a conscious effort to set my eyes on my Heavenly Father who will turn my mourning into dancing, I will not give Satan a foothold to steal my joy. 

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong; firm, and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen.

I Peter 5:10-11

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Nehemiah 8:10