It's been another busy couple of months and time has gotten away from me once again. Since my last post, Brian and I have completed two unsuccessful IUI cycles. Our fertility specialist is not recommending we try another cycle and is recommending that we either go for InVitro Fertilization, or pursue adoption. We've spent the last month in prayer and thought about what God wants us to do next. I've never wanted to do IVF, but now that I know it is my only option, I've had to consider it. We have also been approached with a a foster-to-adopt program that mutual friends have done and successfully added to their families through. We are currently looking into that program and are seriously considering adding to our family through adoption.
It is a difficult scenario to consider never carrying my own child. My loved ones are concerned that I will regret not trying everything I can to have my own before considering adoption, because there will always be babies and children who need homes. I would love to have a child that is a combination of Brian and me and the thought of never experiencing that is sad. But lately I've felt more at peace with the idea that God is going to bless us with children, one way or the other. I still do not feel called to do IVF. Brian thinks that is interesting because he always thought we would end up doing IVF if IUI didn't work, just because he knew how much having my own child was important to me. But even facing the possibility that I won't ever get pregnant without IVF, I still do not feel like it is what I need to do.
I'm doing okay right now, though I am dealing with disappointment and confusion about what to do next. I do not want to let my family and friends down, and I do not want to be seen as weak for not doing everything I can to have my own child. I just want us to make the best decision possible for our family.
I guess we need prayers right now more than anything. We need to know what God is wanting us to do. And we need support from our family and friends as we make this decision and in the next few months. I know God's hand is in this, I just need to see which way he is pointing.
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3 comments:
Hi Amy! I know I have said this before but I thought I would comment again! Being a child of adoption I feel compelled to say something. Adoption can be such an amazing thing for you and for the child. I know when I was growing up and now I never feel like I am not a little piece of my parents. In fact I am...God has crazy ways of working that out! I have carried biological children (I don't like to say "my own" because I am more my adoptive parents child than anyone elses) and yes it is a blessing but I believe through adoption you are giving that child something NO ONE else can. You have to do what is right for your family but I promise if you adopt that child will be your own. I have never looked at being adopted as something bad but thought about how much my parents wanted me! I will continue to pray for your family...xoxoxo
Amy, after reading your post I really feel the need to encourage you to do what is best for you and Brian - you are not letting anyone else down by doing what is best for you. I know you have spent a lot of time in prayer about this and God is not going to lead you in the wrong direction. Many times I have made decisions based on what "others" thought was best for me - and that did not honor God or what He was trying to show me. Be strong in whatever decision you make - God is going to bless you both!!! I love you!!!
Amy-I have been praying for you guys and will continue to do so. I agree with the other comments though-you should do what YOU feel is best. I know everyone who loves you has your best interests at heart but only you know where God is leading your family. If you and Brian don't feel 100% right about doing IVF then maybe that's not God's plan. I have a lot of family who have adopted. Both on my side and on Heath's side and I've seen what an amazing thing adoption is. Not just for the child but for the adoptive family. I don't think God calls every family to adoption only when all other avenues have been exhausted. I think God calls a family to adoption because that is the child he planned for YOU. I will continue to pray for you guys. I know this decision is such a hard one and that's it's hard to see the other side right now but I have no doubt that whatever you decide there will be lots of joy on the other side! Love you girl!
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