Update

It's been another busy couple of months and time has gotten away from me once again. Since my last post, Brian and I have completed two unsuccessful IUI cycles. Our fertility specialist is not recommending we try another cycle and is recommending that we either go for InVitro Fertilization, or pursue adoption. We've spent the last month in prayer and thought about what God wants us to do next. I've never wanted to do IVF, but now that I know it is my only option, I've had to consider it. We have also been approached with a a foster-to-adopt program that mutual friends have done and successfully added to their families through. We are currently looking into that program and are seriously considering adding to our family through adoption.

It is a difficult scenario to consider never carrying my own child. My loved ones are concerned that I will regret not trying everything I can to have my own before considering adoption, because there will always be babies and children who need homes. I would love to have a child that is a combination of Brian and me and the thought of never experiencing that is sad. But lately I've felt more at peace with the idea that God is going to bless us with children, one way or the other. I still do not feel called to do IVF. Brian thinks that is interesting because he always thought we would end up doing IVF if IUI didn't work, just because he knew how much having my own child was important to me. But even facing the possibility that I won't ever get pregnant without IVF, I still do not feel like it is what I need to do.
I'm doing okay right now, though I am dealing with disappointment and confusion about what to do next. I do not want to let my family and friends down, and I do not want to be seen as weak for not doing everything I can to have my own child. I just want us to make the best decision possible for our family.
I guess we need prayers right now more than anything. We need to know what God is wanting us to do. And we need support from our family and friends as we make this decision and in the next few months. I know God's hand is in this, I just need to see which way he is pointing.