I've been trying really hard to keep caught up at work, since we are leaving next Friday, my last day in the district is next week, so I have to make sure all my students are up on their counseling minutes before I jet out. I've also had some new clients with my business, though I've had to turn down four calls in the last week because we are going out of the country for a month next Friday!
Have I not mentioned that? Oh yeah, Brian and I are leaving in 9 days for a month! We are spending two weeks with a missionary in Albania, and then vacationing for a week in Italy and a week in Spain. We are really excited about it, though we've kind of been trying to prepare ourselves for world-shut down pandemic with this swine flu business. But it looks like we are still going to go, swine flu or not! :) Last year was our 5th anniversary, but we didn't really do anything for it. I had just started treatment, was going a little cuckoo and we were just not in a good place. So we decided to make up for it by our trip this year! Please pray for our work in Albania, safe travel and healthy planes full of people, trains full of people, subways full of people, buses full of people, basically healthy Tindells!
This past week has also been very hard. Saturday, the 2nd, was not only my sweet Daddy's 52nd birthday, but also the due date of our baby we lost September 11th. I've been trying to focus on the positives, my body is responding to treatment, we are going on a great trip, but it has been hard dealing with the thought that I could have been bringing my sweet baby home this week. I'm not sure if there will ever be a year go by that I don't think about that. I decided to go to San Antonio this past weekend to visit my family because Brian went canoeing with a bunch of guys from church. I am so glad I did. I am so blessed with my family who were nothing but positive about my situation, loving towards the loss of my baby, and encouraging, hoping for a pregnancy with multiples. They took my mind off of sad things and put it on joyful things and I love them so much for that.
But it has also been a double blow because like every year around this time, Mother's day is here. I'm so thankful for my mother, motherinlove, grandmothers, aunts, friends that are mothers, etc. You have all taught me how to be a better person by just being around you. But this day is hard for us women whose empty arms are yearning to be filled. I know that day will come and it is all in God's timing (ugh), but that doesn't make this or any Mother's Day any easier. Mothers, I celebrate your joy at the love your children have for you and the blessing you are for them. But please don't forget us "empty-armed" ones this weekend, and be that much more thankful for the beautiful family that you have been blessed with.
Rachel and I talked about if we are going to do anything for our babies this weekend. Last year we merely hid out from Mothers Day in a cabin in the woods. But this year, we don't really feel right about denying that it is happening, since in our own way, we are mothers. We are thinking of ideas of how to celebrate our blessing of being able to carry our sweet ones, even if it was for a few short weeks.
Thank you for still checking in on me, even though I haven't posted as much as I used to. Your prayers and thoughts help encourage me to continue on.
Here is a link to song that one of my sweet friends from Hannah group, Sheila, sent to us. It is a chilling reminder of how infertility affects so many people in so many different ways and a prayer for the hope that all of us have, to one day hold our babies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
6 comments:
Wow, Amy! You DO have a lot on your plate! I'm completely jealous of your upcoming trip, especially the part about the trip to Italy! Randy and I were supposed to get to go to Italy where--get this--he was going to perform a wedding (!), but the family has been negatively affected by the economic downturn and has had to scale things back. So Italy's out--boo hoo!
As to your current situation, I am so happy to know that you're still focusing on the positive and I pray that you're continuing to put your faith in God, for whom NOTHING is impossible. Your last paragraph really struck a chord with me when you said, "It is a chilling reminder of how infertility affects so many people in so many different ways" because it would be very easy for someone in your shoes (and I used to wear those same shoes) to say, "How come EVERYONE can have a baby but me?" Self-pity is the easy route, but God never promised the road to motherhood would be easy. What He did promise was to be faithful to His promise never to leave you or forsake you. HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOU!
Much love,
Andrea
Hey! How come I'm not a "sweet friend" link? :(
I am! I just didn't see it since it was BLUE! Hee hee!
Excited to spend Mother's Day the Prequel (part 2) with you!
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
Mothers Day can be tough for those of us that have lost our Children. I pray you will find comfort in knowing you are not alone in your thoughts and emotions on that day....there are many of us that share them. Love you!
I wasn't trying to be anonymous...in the comment above...Iam just a nerd that doesn't know how to work blogspot very well!
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